Send me chain mail and I will hit you.

I never forwarded that text message.

That's right. 

My phone vibrated and I looked at the screen and saw it was a chain mail message and thought to myself, "Are you willing to risk the consequences of not forwarding this oh-so important and credible and grammatically horrific text message? Can you live with yourself? Can you stomach the reality that not only will you never get kissed by your true love, but your hair will also fall out, bugs will manage to fill your locker at school, your parents will sell you to a merchant with a monkey and a tuba, you will be kidnapped by an evil unicorn, and die from an octopus tentacle?"

After all, these messages do not lie.

I processed this heavy decision and decided yes. I could live with that just fine.