A chicken with it's head cut off.

Holy mother of God, do I love Chick-Fil-A.

I mean, they didn't invent the chicken, just the chicken sandwich, but like you could even attempt to count all the nonexistent fucks I give about that minor discrepancy. Heaven decided one day to settle down on Earth, and what we got was Chick-Fil-A. And then they decided to dress up men in cow suits for our endless amusement. The shakes and fries always had me hooked, but once they started employing the cows, I was forever conformed to the Chick-Fil-A cult, and oh-so happy with it, I cannot tell a lie.

And then some moron decided that the Chick-Fil-A enterprise would do better without a head and hacked it off when they publicly announced that they don't support gay marriage.

Dude. I've seen better judgement calls from the two year old I babysat last year, and he smeared his own poop on the walls.

I find some flaws in the logic of ramming one belief down the throat of another. It's like having to deep throat an entire set of moral codes that you don't believe in, or even care about. And if you're gonna deep throat, it sure as fuck better be something you care about. So, while the fantasy playing in my head of walking into my local Chick-Fil-A establishment and hanging myself from the ceiling and swinging around, screaming out my protest is really quite tempting, the only thing that I'll actually manage to accomplish is to get myself somehow wedged in a playground slide with my ass in the air. Chick-Fil-A has got their own set of moral codes, a set that I feel have been battered and deep-fried for too long and have gone to shit, but a set they abide all the same. I, too, have my own collection of morals. They tell me vandalizing Chick-Fil-A establishments with gay chicken porn would not be in my best interest. So I will try and resist.

No promises. There's no telling what that might do for their business which they effectively kicked in the balls permanently. I could be doing them a favor; draw in customers. You're welcome, bitchin' chickens.

I am probably more excited than I should be to see how the world responds to this, and to see how Chick-Fil-A handles themselves in this shit storm. Really, guys. There was no thought process behind this at all, was there? I think one of you woke up morning and said to yourself, "Hey, sales are looking dandy. Let's stir some shit up!"

Congratulations. You royally fucked yourself over.

I hope it's still half as enjoyable as it was before now that you're headless. Don't hurt yourself. I think you've done enough damage to yourself to last you a good long while.