Reality bites me on the ass. It bares it's teeth when I'm not looking and clamps down like some misshapen Johnny Bravo dog with a mouth too big for it's itty-bitty dangling body. It doesn't make me cry, though. Or want to punch things like walls and school buses. It just gives me this oh-so adorable hickey on my ass that makes me walk funny for a few days or so.
Reality, you are a bitch. The female dog of female dogs. The biting asswipe that I can never shake off. The awkwardly sized fucker that nips at me to compensate for the fact that you drag your gaping mandible on the ground. Mandible dragger.
You suck. Really. Leave my ass alone.
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